


Harry Potter and the song that ended the war

by IzzyLou



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Slightly crack, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26305627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzzyLou/pseuds/IzzyLou
Summary: Harry‘s performance at the Hogwarts talentshow may just change the course of history....
Relationships: Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini
Kudos: 16





	Harry Potter and the song that ended the war

„She‘s just soooo hot!“ Harry exclaimed, the porridge slowly sliding off his suspended spoon and splashing on the table. „Oh wipe that drool off your face, Harry. We all know you think Blaise is way hot, and some of us are trying to eat here. I had really hoped the drooling would stop once you started dating, but you’ve actually been getting worse. Maybe you should see Madam Pomfrey to check for longlasting lovepotions“ Hermione snapped, vanishing the spilt porridge for what felt like the hundreth time that term. When Harry got all starry-eyed like this, his beakfast had a tendency to end up anywhere but in his mouth. After the second time he had sullied her books with it she had given up reading at the breakfast table and now split her time between glaring and rolling her eyes at Harry‘s antics. Today she had opted for glaring as she was already in a foul mood. Classes had been cancelled as the grand final of the Hogwarts talent show would take place this evening, and the families of the finalists had joined the students for the big event. 

Of the three of them only Harry had advanced beyond the first round with his intensely sweet lovesongs, all directed at Blaise Zabini. At first they had been sad and pleading, but intrigued by all the attention the popular Slytherin had started paying more attention to the Boy who lived, and after a heartwrenching rendition of „my heart will go on“ in the semifinals, which had reduced all the Hufflepuffs and Dumbledore to tears, she had decided to overlook the unfortunate fact that Harry was a Gryffindor, and they had started a very public and extremely nauseating relationship. This week they had been reduced to making eyes at each other over breakfast as Dumbledore had personally implemented a no-kissing-in-the-great-hall-during-mealtimes-rule out of fear of losing both Prof. McGonagall and Prof. Snape to spontaneous combustion fueled by intense disapproval and disgust respectively. But today’s level of staring worried Hermione, as it was even more nauseating than when Harry had first lain eyes on Blaise at the start of term. She had always been a pretty girl, but after spending the summer holidays visiting a distant relative in America she had gotten truly hot. Even Hermione had to admit to having been attracted to her before Harry had professed his everlasting love to her in song- repeatedly. 

Of the seven finalists Harry was the only Gryffindor, and as such had the responsibility to represent their proud and noble house tonight. Ravenclaw had a seventh year cellist, who really was talented, as Hermione had to admit, both at the cello and at making out in the broomcloset after seducing her with his musical talent and collection of rare books on the history of magical music. Two Hufflepuffs had reached the finals, one sixth year singing opera and a second year who had surprised the entire school with his contortionist performances. Of the three preforming Slytherins Blaise was representing the drama club, giving dramatic renditions of famous soliloquies in full costume. A dark and brooding fourth year recited his own poetry which was gloomy, and rather suggestive, bordering on disturbing, and a tiny third year who danced ballet in a perfectly starched tutu.

Seeing Harry’s drool now dribbling down his chin as he stared transfixedly at the Slytherin table she decided to intervene. Harry would have to give his very best today to win all the honour that was expected of Gryffindor house, and Hermione would make sure his head was in the game. „Don’t you want to rehearse your performance, Harry?“ she suggested sweetly. To her surprise Harry seemed to actually be listening, snapping out of his continued drooling trance and jumping out of his chair, spilling pumpkinjuice everywhere. „I have to go and plan an entirely new show!“ he gasped „otherwise she will never know how I feel about her!“. „I think we all know how you feel about her, mate“ Ron mumbled from behind his mountain of stacked pancakes. „You have publicly declared your love more times than anyone wanted to hear... Now pass me that bacon, would you?“ „HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT BACON WHEN I AM IN SUCH CRISIS? I HAVE TO TELL MY TRUE LOVE HOW I FEEL!!!“ Harry yelled, grabbing his trusted ukulele, wiping off the pumpkinjuice on his shirt and storming from the hall. Hermione let out a sigh and dropped her head on the table. „Umph, Boys...“ „Hey!“ „Sorry... Umph, Harry!“ „yeah....“. 

~~~

As the sun was starting to set over Hogwarts castle the finalists were backstage getting ready for the big show. Harry would be performing last, and as the evening progressed he started getting more and more nervous. What he would be proclaiming in his performance today could change everything forever, but he simply couldn’t keep it inside. This wealth of hencetoforth unknown emotions had to be expressed in song. The crowd cheered for the penultimate performer and Harry knew that it was time to come out and expose his soul. He gently held his trusted ukulele and entered stage left to the roaring applause of all the school. Whilst they were all fed up with his lovey dovey behavior in everyday life it was undeniable that his voice was hauntingly beautiful bordering on truly magnificent. He stole a look at the Slytherin section and saw Blaise sitting next to her mother holding an I❤️Harry sign. He stroked the wood of his ukulele and started softly plucking her strings. The audience waited for him to sing the first note, already transfixed by the sheer anticipation of his voice. No sound was heard except for the increasingly rapid intro and his accompanying percussive tapping, as everyone held their breath at the uncommonly upbeat start to the song. Then Harry took a deep breath and started to sing. 

🎶 „Blaises mom has got it goin' on - She's all I want and I've waited for so long - Blaise, oh, can't you see you're just not the girl for me - I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Blaises mom… „ 🎶

~~~

The wedding took place on the eve of Harry’s seventeenth birthday in a tasteful yet glamorous ceremony. His funeral four days later was held in a private, equally tasteful service.  
With Harry Potter dead Voldemort won the war and ruled the Wizarding world for two hundred and sixty four years full of terror, darkness, and blood, culminating in the extinction of wizardkind due to excessive inbreeding.

But to this day Harry’s ghost insists it was worth it, because damn she was just soooo hot.

**Author's Note:**

> The song is „Stacy‘s mom“ by Fountains of Wayne.


End file.
